Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
