What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
