Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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