Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
