I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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