I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize
