I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
