I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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