Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
