she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
