Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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