They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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