margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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