He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize