dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize