so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm always down for nudity.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
