it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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