Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
