I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can Purell be used as lube?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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