for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Less talking, more tequila
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
