Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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