Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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