i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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