I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize