I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
