I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude i'm inner monologue high
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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