I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
