No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
