for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize