it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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