so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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