I cockslap morals
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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