he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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