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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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