Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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