please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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