I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
