so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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