Sry I called you an 8
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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