By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize