My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
