well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
