I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
