Don't EVER smell your tampon
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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