btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Welp...herpes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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