We're facebook friends in real life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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