I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
