Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
its liver damage thursday
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
