I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
