Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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