With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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