i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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