I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
