what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize