Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
