You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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