I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
