We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
