I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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