How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize