the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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