so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
