So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just cut my nipple shaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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