Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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